Most days I wake up and wonder why. Why bother getting up? Will anyone notice if I don’t go to work? Probably not. Of course the day I don’t go will be the one day my boss calls – unlike the days where I expect her to call and she never does. But I digress… I mainly wonder why I bother getting up because I don’t want to go to work. I don’t like my job (now there’s a surprise – someone in corporate america who does NOT like their job). So every morning I have the same debate with myself about going to work or not.
How did I get to this point? I’ve worked for the same company for five years. While not a long time in the relative scope of things, it feels like an eternity when I allow myself to think that I do not want to continue on this path. I took this latest position deluding myself that it would provide a resume boost and alleviate the boredom. While many aspects of this role can help the ole resume, I can honestly say deluding yourself can only last so long. The aforementioned boredom directly resulted from my previous position consisting of periods of mind-numbingly busy work intermingled with short bursts of chaos. However, I can honestly say I’d rather be bored. Why? Two main reasons – the coolness of my former manager combined with his smarts (yes, some managers do use logic!) and I’m still bored. Not only that, for a serious increase in responsibilities, I seriously got screwed on the paycheck. Again, that’s one of those things I attempted to delude myself after the HR person made me drink the kool-aid.
So after five years, I finally come to the realization (for the 500th time) that I do not want to do this. But the question is, what is it that I want to do. Ah, the million dollar question. Obviously, if I had known what I wanted to do, then I would be doing it. Right? You would think so, but herein lies the problem. Arg.
Oh well. Off to bed to once again debate in the morning whether or not to go to work.